01 April 2007

I sat down to write a long, industrious, educational post for my blog.

But the only words that would come out of my fingers were...

...stinkin’ messed up.

...because that’s what I think of a current condition that I see. It’s this situation where a guy has not made any move in a relationship (possibly because said relationship has been around about...two weeks?) and the ever-patient girl makes the first move by asking if he likes her. Guy replies, “Sure!” (hey, it’s flattering to have someone who wants your attention) and boom, the relationship is off too a rip...roaring...start. That right there doesn’t seem right to me. Don’t ask me why: it sure is easier on the guy to not have to do any awkward, “So...uh...do you like...................................cars?” moments when he really wants to ask a girl if she likes HIM (not cars). But is that how it’s supposed to be? Is it really the right way to go, just because it’s easier?

I thought God designed men to be the initiators in a relationship. It seems to me that guys dread having to make the first move and girls jump on it. But there’s a consistent pattern of guys making the first move and girls who are able to follow coming together, getting married, and sticking together for life...whereas when a girl initiates, it’s usually because of something much less serious than actually caring about the guy. My argument with the theory that girls can initiate because it makes it easier on guys is simply this: Guys who are decent, upstanding young men will move forward in a relationship when they see real growth in it. They’ll take the relationship seriously. Girls tend to be very fluttery as to the condition of a relationship. Sometimes we really are incapable of gauging just how serious it actually is, due to healthy young imaginations, a good dose of self-pity, and a less-than-optimal sense of self-worth.

If you’re a guy whose parents say it’s ok for a girl to ask you out, I pity you, because in doing so, your parents are most likely trying to make it easier for you to get into a relationship...a potentially disastrous and heartbreaking relationship. They’re trying to make it easy on you, and that isn’t the real world. The real world won’t be easy on you.

I welcome challenges, critiques, and comments on this idea/theory/thingy I’ve mulled over the past week or so.


Mark Watson said...

I don't know. I'm not sure guys are really that much better at gauging a relationship than girls. But generally it seem guys initiate relationships and not girls. At least normal ones :-P.

I do think that a lot of times highschoolers get way to wrapped up in guy/girl relationships and start looking at everything skewed. It's sad because sometimes there can't be a normal friendship, there has to be the whole "does so and so like me" aspect tied in.

I've heard girls hate it when guys don't show initiation in a relationship. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I suspect it is.

Anyway, those are my random thoughts, in no particular order.

Crystal Soldier said...

I really am not expecting guys to be perfect (I'm fully aware that they aren't) but my professional opinion on the matter is that guys allow themselves to be led by emotions much less than girls do. That's what makes them better gauges of relationships.

Of course, in high school, everything does look messed up. Normal friendships are all but non-existent...which is rather sad.

Some girls do hate it when guys don't show initiative. But then, some girls are just too impatient to wait to see if a guy will show initiative. In the case I'm thinking about, the girl didn't even know the guy for more than a week before she wanted to know what he thought of her. I thought that seemed slightly impatient.

Thanks for your random thoughts. They really do make sense!!

Allegra said...

I commented...it got too long...it's now at my Blarney Stone blog. So now YOU have to comment. :P