My Cat

As I write this, my cat stretches across my desk, his head and front legs slung lazily across my left arm, and his back legs stretching luxuriantly under my right arm and onto the keyboard. His tail twitches every time I move, and his back feet push the keyboard away from him. I’m sure cats dream as much as dogs do, because even while I write, his claws dig into my arm and flex there. Ah, thank goodness for long sleeves! His motor is running right now…I can veritably feel the desk vibrating with his rumble. He looks absolutely angelic—his round green eyes shut tight and his front legs wrapped around my arm like a hug. Now, if only his claws weren’t extended…. Why he had to come and join me in my thrilling academic pursuit—doing history on the computer—I’ll never know.

He’s waking up now. His claw is stuck in the fabric of my sleeve, and he looks puzzled at his “capture”. He wrenches his claw away violently, but he’s still stuck. I kindly loosen his claw, and he sits up. His motor is at the present going at least 180 miles per hour. He’s perched himself upright, looking as though he would like to get back to his pressing business of sleep. I can almost hear his thought: How I wish I could get by on only seventeen hours of sleep! Of course, this is wishful thinking. At least a third of his time must be spent doing what all cats are naturally supposed to do: Acting psychotic, and rumbling as though a Honda engine has escaped Richard Petty’s car and decided to possess their ribcage. That and avoiding the dog, who, being old will make a half-hearted attempt to overturn the cat whenever possible.

Ah, he thinks, the hamster calls. I’d better go and see if he’s unattended on his assumedly safe shelf. I need a little excitement. I’ll bet he does too! The ages old battle between felines and rodents is resumed. My cat lightly bounces up the stairs and carefully, subtly migrates to my sister’s room, where he will proceed to cause her to itch and sneeze while biding his time until she leaves and he can knock over her dwarf hamster’s cage. Again. *Sigh*. Psychosis is a frightening thing in humans, but in cats, it’s the norm.